Most individuals marry for good reasons — and for bad reasons! The good reasons include finally finding that one extraordinary person who you weren’t even sure existed. Life feels magical: colors are brighter, song lyrics have more meaning, and the sex is passionate. You feel good when you are with this person and think of them constantly when you are not. You are no longer alone; you have a partner with whom you can explore the universe, with whom you can create, learn, laugh, play and build a life.
And the bad reasons? We often choose partners who uniquely re-create what therapists call “the pasts unfinished business.” And so begins the disenchantment, the frustration, the hurt and disappointment, the distance, and the power struggles.
It starts small. Your other half leaves the cap off the toothpaste, loads the dishwasher all wrong, if they attempted to load it at all. They don’t talk or they always want to talk. They want sex all the time. But worse, when they don’t, are they no longer attracted to you?
You can’t believe the person you thought was so amazing is now so inconsiderate! Were you wrong then or are you wrong now? Who is this person? Or is it you? Marital therapists during the last few decades were, in general, remarkably ineffective in helping couples create sustainable and adequate relational improvement — but much has changed in the last few years. The field of marriage counseling, marital therapy has evolved and the current approaches are working much better. Often, much can be done to improve a failing relationship. Reestablishing the “good” and resolving the “bad” is a sincere possibility.
The complex challenge is that for partners to make changes, they need a climate of teamwork, respect, and positive regard for each other. But wait! The relationship is already in danger or they wouldn’t be in marriage counseling. Here’s the million dollar question: How is that you can achieve the initial relational shifts necessary to foster change?
Breaking the Pattern | The Get-away Plan That Changes Lives
Change is hard to activate when we’re trapped in the same routines, day in and day out. When we look at each other doing the same thing today as yesterday at the same time in the same way, change can feel like a hopeless notion. Breaking the routine is an absolute first step in making the difference you may both be longing for.
Consider taking a break, a vacation, one that’s focused on “the two of you” and a beautiful environment. One that’s designed to to best create an atmosphere of joy, safety, and play. One that breathes new life into the relationship, in to “the being together” experience. What if you had time available to walk along the beach and finally have that tender conversation, but while enjoying the sunset. What about the fun of adventuring through a delicious dinner at any one of many fine restaurants, followed by the nightly relationship-enhancing homework you’ll be assigned. Imagine all this is taking place as you’ve been working thoughtfully to hear each other’s perspective, speak to your hurts, and nurture the hurts of one another, all while away, free, and focused on each other.
Marriage Retreats have come a long way these past many years. Beautiful settings that help to open the heart and clear the mind are highly recommended and sought after. Many are boasting incredible success rates of over 90$ in saving marriages and keeping families together.
At Marriage Therapy Institute, we provide a co-therapy, female/male counseling team that focuses intensely on the intimacy and vulnerabilities exchange between couples. We pay careful attention to how the energy of anger and resentment can block any well meaning couple, and we take intimacy and early attachment to be of vital importance to comprehend when working with couples in relationship.
Praise the Lord Jesus!
I went through your website and found you are helping many mariages.
How can I receive your courses on mariage counselling.
God bless you!
Pastor John
Kampala/ Ugandan